My spouse, young adult children, and I currently have two daily rituals together: late morning coffee and supper.
I’ve been thinking of those gatherings, along with other regular activities, as my watering holes; as brief, essential oases in this surreal landscape called COVID-19.
My kids laugh at this description of what we do together every day. They didn’t grow up among the Amish, as I did, and see horses and cows at watering troughs. They didn’t grow up in the country where ponds or springs were places animals found water.
I’m used to them rolling their eyes at me. And they are two of my best mentors, insisting on our rituals as a place and time each day that grounds us, brings us together and allows us to process feelings and thoughts, tell jokes, and review the COVID-19 “numbers.” We revisit and grieve our losses and, being together, acknowledge that we are fortunate. We might even, once in a while, note that this time we have – with two young adults ready to launch – is precious. (Never mind that we also regularly get on each others’ nerves!)
I know this is not everyone’s experience and I am not sugarcoating how difficult this shelter-in-place is. It’s really hard, devastating and destabilizing for many of our human brothers and sisters. Every day I listen to stories that include worry, fear, uncertainty and pain.
That’s not the point of this essay. The point is that YOU NEED WATERING HOLES to get through this crisis.
While the definition of a watering hole includes a place where animals drink or a place where people gather for socialization, to me a watering hole is anything that provides brief pause, and emotional, mental, physical or spiritual nourishment.
You can come up with your own watering holes. If they provide respite and nourishment, and aren’t harmful to anyone else in your sphere, they will work.
My watering holes, in addition to being with my family, include getting outside for both exercise and leisurely walks, early morning reading, texting friends and family members, meditation and yoga. Every day if possible. These rituals ground me, help me stay in my body, help me stay present and enrich telehealth sessions with clients.
Create Your Own
You can create a watering hole by doing whatever feels nourishing to you. Or if you can’t do that, by remembering a time of security and safety, or a restorative place – a vacation spot, for example. And if that doesn’t work, then right now, in the present moment, you can create, in your mind, a safe and lovely space and rest in that imagery even just briefly.
Here are some watering holes I’ve heard about from friends and clients: breathing deeply, dancing, baking, planting seeds, getting out in the garden, exercise, streaming shows, journaling and zooming friends. Whatever you come up with, I suggest you visit and drink from your watering hole at a regular time each day or week.
Watering holes are a way to fill us up for what the rest of each day brings: remote study or work, applying for unemployment or loans, crunching numbers, potentially becoming ill, homeschooling kids, keeping food in the fridge and on the table, etc.
So, here’s the question for this week: What are your watering holes?
Some resources for you:
Yoga: I’m doing a 30-day yoga challenge with Do Yoga With Me. They’re offering two months free during the COVID-19 crisis. You just sign up, don’t need to give any payment information, and then enjoy all their website offers. Click here for the link,
Podcast: Tami Simon from Sounds True interviewed poet/author Mark Nepo. You can listen to “Resilience in Trying Times” here.
There are so many podcasts, articles and resources out there to help just about anyone with any kind of challenge during this time. Take advantage of them, don’t get overwhelmed…and stick to one or two as your watering holes.
Brenda Hartman-Souder, LCSW-R, April 2020
Photo credit: Phillip Cordts, Unsplash