What Has Hit Us? Coping Through COVID-19

Making a list of what I want to accomplish and pay attention to is one of my daily routines.  When stress increases, as it has with the COVID-19 pandemic, I write more lists than usual, including lists of ways to take care of myself and others during this crazy time. I need a constant reminder of what is most vital now to help me prioritize and focus. After two weeks since life as we knew it halted, I have a pile of 3×5 index cards with various and repeating “to-dos.” 

Perhaps these compiled lists (with a bit of extrapolation) will be helpful for you.

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  • Stick to routines as much as possible. Create new ones if, for the time being, old ones have vanished.
  • Stop surfing the news channels over and over.
  • Get outside. Walk.
  • Do yoga.
  • Meditate.
  • Volunteer/serve.
  • Stay off the news sites.
  • Allow feelings – if angry, feel anger.  If scared, feel fear. If sad, feel sad. If hopeful, feel hope.
  • Allow grief: I am so sad so many people are suffering. I am so sad my children’s school is on hiatus.  I am so sad some of my friends, family members and clients are out of work.  I am so sad my daughter’s senior college year is ending this way.  I am sad I can’t see clients in my office right now.
  • …and then also gratitude: My family is together.  We can still get outside.  We have food to eat.  Our home is warm. The peonies are poking through the soil.
  • Plan for 15-30 minutes of worry time a day – really have at your worries during that scheduled time, then end the worry time with a little meditation, movement or shifting into something totally different.  (Planned worry time is a tool from cognitive-behavioral therapy.)
  • Surrender and work to trust in whatever name you give the mystery greater than yourself.
  • Be open to opportunities – the opportunity for increased connection, new ways of doing business, for rest, and for sorting through files and rooms that need decluttering.
  • Stay connected to important others – extended family, friends, and clients. Really listen, it’s your best gift.
  • Remember you are not alone; we are in this together.
  • Remember, the children are watching you.
  • Slow down.
  • Surrender to what’s out of your control.
  • Breathe.
  • Remember, good decisions come best from a place of grounding, stillness and calm.
  • Ask:  What do I have control of?  And what don’t I?  Work to manage that which is within my control (my attitude, what I say, and what I do, including washing hands and practicing social distancing) and let go of what isn’t (the spread of the virus, orders from national, state and local officials, knowledge of how long this is going to continue).
  • Limit news sites scrolls.
  • Breathe.
  • Believe in your resiliency through this very tough time.
  • Take all health precautions.
  • Practice exquisite self-care.
  • Remember this is going to end some unknown day; how do you want to spend TODAY?
  • Limit time reading the news.
  • Breathe.

As you can see, staying off the news sites, surrender and breathing are constants repeats on my lists!  I feel my body’s sympathetic nervous system going into overdrive every time I log onto a news site. While we benefit from being informed, we hurt our capacity to stay relatively calm and grounded when we overload ourselves with alarming information.

What’s your list? What helps you during this time?  What doesn’t? What will support you to follow your own best advice? What opportunities might come from this? What’s just plain hard, awful, sad?

Recommended for you:  

CALM is sharing, for free, some of its meditations and practices.  They are really good.  I fell asleep during the one called Softening Fear, and that’s sayin’ something!   You can access the link here.

There’s a website dedicated to all kinds of resources for those of us feeling more anxiety during the COVID-19 crisis. You can find it here.

Tara Brach, a well known leader in the mindfulness/meditation field and author of several books on the subject, has recently posted a page of resources, you can access it here.

And one of my favorite bloggers, Heather Plett, just posted “Holding Space For Yourself in a Time of Isolation and Liminal Space.” It’s worth reading and you can do so here.

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Update:  I’m only doing video and sometimes phone sessions, within New York state, until further notice.  I’m pleasantly surprised at how well the technology works and thankful I can continue to serve current and new clients.  Most health insurances are covering video and phone sessions during this COVID-19 crisis.  Please call me at 315-870-0154 if you are a potential new client interested in starting therapy.